Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Help, my vocal cords are frozen.

online dating profile pic?
“I think his three foot double ended dildo is at his moms house”

I’ve not done a writing post in a long time, and originally I was planning on posting book reviews today (since I’m five books down from BEA, and about seven books down from the start of June), but I forgot to look at the books last night to find quotes. I got distracted by the gym, and knitting, and the marathon of Criminal Minds on Ion. Then my roommate came home with a PS3 and the night was over as far as productivity is concerned. Although I did stay up till 3am watching tv on my laptop.

I can’t help wonder if my procrastination is coming from a lingering sense of doubt. You see, I have been working on my new story, which is about hunting demons and other such nonsense, but the thing is, this piece is not only written in first person, but it’s an exercise in practicing “my voice”.

The main character is alot like me, in that she thinks the way I write (especially my blog), and since its first person, what I’ve written so far is a bit like a blog post, with lots more dialogue. Thus making it very very different from Sacrifice, and really, everything else that’s not a blog post that I’ve ever written. And different from most things I’ve read. Certainly different from the hopefully super popular novels that I was handed at BEA. And this reminds me a bit of the conversation I had with Bobby back when I was applying for jobs and working on cover letters. When Bobby told me “In order to get a job you need to sound the least like yourself as possible”, mostly as a joke.

And in a lot of ways I think he’s right, not just about jobs and cover letters, but other things too. I mean, how many people say they want someone/something innovative or creative or outside the box, when they really don’t. Probably one of the clearest examples is my online dating profile on (shut it, there was a groupon (true story)).

Where I answer questions like:

What’s your idea of a perfect Sunday?


Saturday is very offended by this question. Why do you want to know what my perfect Sunday is but don't ask about the other six days a week?

To answer the question, my perfect Sunday is probably something similar to what I do every day, and thats try to take over the world.

Or: An Awesome Place I’ve visited.


The internet. Oh, you mean in real life?

Or: What do you want to come home to?

four walls. No one wants to come home and find their home is now missing a wall, unless you live in a lean two, then having a three walled home would be about normal.

Interestingly enough, I don’t get that many hits to the profile, although THAT could be because I’m wearing an orange tutu in the profile pic, or it could be due to the fact that I live in DC which is, in my opinion, the most ridiculous superficial conservative city in the universe (and I’ve not even been to all the cities in the universe). 

The thing is, people never seem to want different, even if they say they do. Cause different is uncomfortable, and pushes limits and makes you think, even if its funny or good. Or maybe I'm completely wrong, its been known to happen.

Yet I can’t shake the feeling that I’m making a huge mistake with voice in this story. Is there such a thing as too much of it? In addition to the complex grammar problems of writing in first person (which are really the same as in third person, but there’s something about first person which makes me want to break/bend/ignore the rules). In short, it’s slow going.

But the thing is, once I get out of my head I really do have a fun time writing the way I write (I know. It makes a ton of sense). Do you guys have any tricks for getting out of your head?

p.s. Cause it’s not fair to talk about something like this and not at least post a little bit. Here is the first paragraph of the VERY rough first chapter.

It’s commonly accepted that conversations which begin discussing secret societies always lead to trouble. Okay, well maybe commonly accepted is a stretch; but I certainly believe it, and that’s exactly how this story starts. Kinda, it actually started a long time ago, but I’ll get to that long time ago business later. Right now, all you need to know is that this story started on a train, with a conversation about secret societies.

p.p.s. I'm probably back to one post a week, cause I'm lazy, or cause I need to ease back into blogging. Or something. 


  1. I LOVE it. I'd totally read a book that starts like that (in fact, right now I'm kind of wishing you'd posted way more than a paragraph). That's the kind of voice I like best, the one that sounds like an internal monologue, but isn't as awkward.

    As for getting out of your head, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Even if nothing comes from this book, if you enjoy writing it and you enjoy what you put out, then it's worth it. And the more you can think of it like that, as just something you're doing for fun, the easier it will be to keep from getting bogged down. At least I think. I've never quite been able to successfully put this into action. :-)

  2. I think it sounds fine. But if your gut is screaming at you and you are totally uncomfortable...nah, keep challenging yourself. You'll get in the flow!