Goals--an Insecure Writers Group Post

I've never been one for new years resolutions. I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've never been one for setting goals, and when I do set goals they are typically small spur of the moment goals. Easy to achieve with minimal planning. My dislike of goals is probably right along the lines/reason for my dislike of planning, or maybe it comes from somewhere else like a fear of failing at the goal, or maybe it comes from a more logical place, like giant goals are hard to meet, so why not make smaller goals that are easier to make, and then you get a sense of satisfaction. Maybe it comes from my live life in the moment mentality, I do what I want when I want to, meaning if I dont really have anything I want to change, I've already done it.

But then again, there's another reason entirely that I don't like the new years resolution people. They make goals to do the things that I am already doing, and then take up space. This might seem silly and petty, but that's because it is, and I am allowed to be silly and petty some times, because I say so, and this is my blog. It sucks to go to my writers group in January, and not be able to find a seat, and end up sitting on the floor (which I don't mind cause the floor is quite comfortable), or to go to my gym and have to wait for a treadmill, not that I go to the gym but that's not the point, The point is my knee jerk reaction to other people disrupting my routine with their hopes and dreams. I mean how dare they.

But are these resolutions their hopes and dreams? I am suspicious. I didn't one day wake up and decide that this is the year I am going to write a novel, I have been writing since I was in 6th grade, I've wanted to be a writer since then (or maybe before), and I work at it, kind of, every day. Maybe these resloutioners have been wanting this their entire lives too, only they can know, but the thing is I see them, year after year, start going to writers group in January, and give up by February, and then the gym, writers group, etc is just as empty as it was before, of course some of them make it, some of them stay and make a change, and I congratulate those strong few.

Yet, why does such a minor inconvenience, and I do mean minor, I've already admitted to liking sitting on the floor which is only socially acceptable in January, and waiting for a treadmill that I procrastinate using in the first place, upset me so much?

Part of it is pride, the I was here first, this is mine, attitude that I don't think I ever grew out of. Part of it is inconvenience. Part of it is the arrogance of the resolutioners (I know I am stereotyping but work with me here) but I think a bigger part is you guessed it (I hope) insecurity. I mean, I've been trying to do something for so long, what happens if they come along and succeed. What if they write their novel in a year, what if it is a best seller, what if they have the secret to success that I've been struggling to find.

I don't know if I am the only one out there who feels threatened by the people that say that "this is the year I will write my novel" or not. But I did try to come up with a few ways to avoid that sense of insecurity that I feel every time someone says something like that to me. The first thing I do is try to remind myself that they don't know what they are talking about, and will give up after a couple of days trying to write. The second thing I say is even if they write their novel, so what, there are millions of novels out there, but the cool thing is that there are almost as many readers, even if they publish their novel, it doesnt mean I wont someday be able to publish mine. And I remind myself of these things over and over again, until the resolutioners fall off the face of the earth (or the writing world) and then I get to feel a smug sense of satisfaction, that I, even if I never get published, at least kept trying (hey I warned you at the begining this was going to be a silly and petty post).

Happy New Year!

Do the resolutioners (yes I know another non-word) make you feel insecure?

p.s. (I promise I'm done now, I think) go check out the Insecure Writers Group, its awesome, and fun, and just do it already.

p.p.s. (I lied) My roommate, and blog nemesis wrote on the same topic, but exact opposite opinion, without either of us knowing about it. Go check out his blog, and mock, um..I mean encourage him.