Saturday, April 14, 2012

M is for Home is where the Heart is.

neighbors house...(they have a six story porch)

In case you’re visiting for A-Z and don’t know me all that well, I have a mildly morbid sense of humor. That being said, I live in a very conservative neighborhood. I mean, I say what street I live on and people give me odd looks super conservative neighborhood.

The street is lined with McMansions, and houses that look like they were just plucked out of the French Riviera. Then you’ve got the house that I rent, which has had minimum work done since it was built in like the mid 50’s. Brick and stone, with a two stories and a sub basement, an over run garden and a poorly maintained driveway. It looks out of place. It’s a super nice house. It just doesn’t fit in with the others in the neighborhood.
For a while my roommate and I’ve been joking about what we, (and by we, I mean he, cause I don’t have any money) would do if we bought the house, and tore it down. His plan is to build a giant glass tower. I however, really want to build Minas Morgul. Now I’m gonna go ahead and assume that you’re not a super geek like I am and need a reminder of what Minas Morgul is:

Yes, if I had my way, it would light up, and play that music. And I’d maybe invest in some robot Nasgulls to fly about the tower.

Now I just need to find a millionaire to marry who would think this is the best idea ever. I have a couple of pretty solid reasons for wanting to build Minas Morgul, one being it would really really upset my neighbors, not that they’ve ever done anything to me. Two, cause it would be awesome. Three because people would never have a hard time finding my house again. As of right now people often get lost when they are coming over to my house. Part of that might have something to do with my directions:

Don't follow google maps it will take you the long way around.

Step 1: Exit the metro station through the mall entrance

Step 2: Walk straight through the food court (to the parking garage), avoid middle school kids

Step 3: Walk through the parking garage tunnel, up the stairs and cross the street, through the tunnel

Step 4: stop and marvel at the silly people ice skating. (only in the winter…if its summer time don’t get mugged by the toddlers)

Step 5: Continue past Sine, and all the other random restaurants (don’t be tempted by their food. Its full of lies)

Step 4: Turn LEFT at DSW

Step 5: Once you are across from the entrance to World Market turn Right, so your back is to world market, and cross the street. Into the parking lot

Step 6: Walk straight through the parking lot.

Step 7: Turn in a counter clockwise manner 3 times. You should see the stairs appear. If you do not see the stairs turn in a clockwise manner 6 times.

Step 8: Call Sara if the stairs have not appeared.

Step 9: Walk up the magical stairs and cross the street.

Step 10: Follow the sidewalk up the hill (don't go down the hill the trolls & pixies live there)

Step 11: Cross the street again, in the crosswalk

Step 12: Follow the crosswalk; we are like the 5th or 8th house on the left.

Have fun and avoid the dangers of the road.

But if I could just tell people, I live in Minus Morgal, follow the green light till you get to the house. You’ll be set. Best directions ever.


  1. haha ... avoid the middle school kids because apparently they are always there :) I enjoy creative directions.

  2. I don't know, I think Minus Morgal would fit in nicely with your conservative neighborhood. It's got an almost gothic look to it though, so you may need to add some verge to the front yard to soften its edges. :)

  3. I'm very proud to say I'm geeky enough to not need the reminder about Minas Morgul, yay! It's a great choice, I would love to live in a Minas Morgul Mansion! :)

  4. Hello, Fellow Challenger, from #399 - aka Rockin'Chair Reflections! I think the glass tower would clear up any directions! Love the street you live on and wish you could figure out a way to let the neighbors know just what is residing in their midst!

  5. If you find an extra millionaire, send him my way, will ya?

  6. I've come to love living in WV (when I was a kid, I always wanted something more exotic). Here, nobody really gives a rat's hiney and it's very live and let live.